I search all the time. I am disorganized. Each time an observer or student enters my classroom, I jokingly say, "I am NOT the poster child for organization," to excuse the mess they see. I am forever searching for books, papers, and materials at school. At home, I am searching for my keys, glasses, shoes, etc. So.....I search.
Sometimes, though, we are searching for something and don't even realize it. That was the case with me. I am a divorced mother of 2 teenage boys. I was in a relationship that was quickly going from bad to worse. It was the only relationship I had been in since my divorce. I thought he was the one, but I was wrong. I was proud of myself, finding my own strength to protect my own interests, and stand up for my needs and those of my boys. Rather than be the co-dependent, weak, people-pleaser from days past, I pulled up my big girl panties, and kept my priorities straight and stood up for them.
As I made the decision to face a life to be single, I was actually ok with it. I bounced from my 18 year marriage to the failing relationship that I was ending. I had never faced being a single adult. I liked the idea. Life would definitely be simpler. I could date...or not. I could go out....or not. Either way, it was my life to live my way.
As all of that was going on, there was a back story going on. Summer plugged along. It was a long, depressing summer, thanks to the demise of my relationship. The boys had gone to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip at the beginning of the summer, which had tested my sanity, patience, and faith. It was so hard not hearing from them for a full week, knowing they were so far away. Summer school went along as expected, though it was not as much fun, nor as fulfilling, as it usually is. My co-teacher gave birth to her first baby in June, a perfect, beautiful baby boy. While I was thrilled--she and her husband will make wonderful parents--he kept her busy, and I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. I didn't want to burden her with my depression as she was enjoying learning to be a mommy. I was thrilled to be asked to come help give baby boy his first bath at home. She was wonderful in including me, but seeing her sweet, little family so happy just magnified my sadness in losing my relationship and what I thought was my chance at happiness.
In July, she and I were headed to Springfield for our annual trip to do a little work for Pearson. While it was 2 full days of work, we always looked forward to our trip. A trip to Lonestar Steakhouse was always on the docket, followed by some shopping. This year's trip would be different, with baby boy's needs being a priority. Her husband came along, to care for him during the day, and then all four of us would be together in the evening. I figured that the little family would be heading to bed early, and that I would be alone for the evenings. So, I figured I would try to find someone to possibly hang out with. There had to be someone in the area....it was so close to my home town.
The first person that popped into my head was Ted. I knew he worked in Springfield at a Panera, and there was one across from the hotel where we would be staying. Maybe he worked at that one. Ted and I went to elementary school together--he was one year ahead of me. We spent one year in the same class, my first grade year, in a 1st/2nd grade split class. We did not run in the same circles during those social years of high school, so I hadn't spent much time with him since those early years. I do remember seeing him on occasion at the grocery store when I would go with mom when we visited her, and we had seen each other at the all-class mixer at my class reunion last year. But, I didn't know much about what his life had been like. I do remember flipping through some of his photo albums on Facebook. He posted some under a heading that made me look- it was something like "things that only I think are funny". Every one of those pictures made me chuckle, and I thought, gee, we must have a similar taste in humor. So, as I thought about who I should make contact with for my trip to Springfield, Ted's name was the only one that popped in my head.
I sent him a Facebook message on July 15th, asking which Panera he worked at, and explaining that I would be in town. The exchange of messages was rather benign, and ended with me giving him my phone number so he could send me a text if he felt like it. On July 18th, I arrived at the hotel, checked in, and found Michele. It had been a long evening, having participated in puppy training class before making the drive. After loving on baby boy, I headed to my room to relax. My stomach was rumbling and I was not feeling well at all. I flopped on the bed and checked my phone. I received a text from Ted, and we exchanged a few texts before he called. We talked for quite some time, exchanging abbreviated life stories. As fate would have it, we had both lived through some pretty scary heart episodes, and exchanged stories and experiences. After talking, we decided to meet for a drink the next evening after I had dinner with Michele and he finished work.
I finished work on Tuesday, had an excellent steak with Michele and family, then headed to my room. I texted Ted, and admitted I was not feeling well. My stomach ailment had not improved from the night before, and adding the large dinner on top of it seemed to compound the problem. Ted said that he had a headache anyway, so we scrapped our plans. I put no more thought into it as I finished up with the work assignment for Pearson and headed home.
The following week, the boys and I headed to Jacksonville to spend a few days with my parents. I had planned the middle day as a day trip to Six Flags to take advantage of our season passes. The heat was reaching near dangerous levels, so we abandoned our plans and soaked up the AC at grandma and grandpa's. Ted had been watching Facebook, and saw that we were heading back home that Friday. He asked if we would like to meet for dinner, since we would be passing through Springfield. Josh had asked for a trip to D'Arcy's Pint as a 'consolation prize' for not getting to go to Six Flags. So, the plan was set that we would meet for horseshoes on our way home.....
